No expert like a new one…
She’s done some research. She’s totally twisting the plot by making a MAN submissive to a WOMAN. Doing BDSM properly takes a lot of research. More than she’s done so far.
Bianca_Sommerland
Today, 08:30 AM
I decided to put a twist in one of the books I’m working on. One of the characters–big strong man–is a submissive (and a pain slut, but that’s beside the point).
Doing BDSM properly takes a lot of research. Then again, so does doing polyamory–not that many people bother
Stella_Omega
Today, 09:44 AM
Yes! And please, don’t turn him into a sissy or anything like that, please please?
Let him be big, and strong, and let his Mistress be very happy and proud of and turned on by his bigness and strength. Please, don’t put him in a frilly apron to wash the dishes- let him wash the dishes in glorious masculine nudity. Let her have him strip off his shirt, and go outside and dig out her garden until the sweat runs down his body.
Let him be masculine and submissive at the very same time. (Also, kudos for knowing the diff between subbing and bottoming)
Bianca_Sommerland
Today, 10:14 AM
Actually, my plan is to have him impossible to tell from the doms until his domme is around–and even then, still have him purely masculine. I think a true Dom/sub relationship can be a beautiful thing and I want to portray that.
Subbing and bottoming is easy to tell apart (well, if you’re paying attention to your research that is) What pisses me off is how many people mix up Doms and Sadist. They’re not interchangeable.
Stella Omega
today, 10:45 AM
What pisses me off is how many young women show up thinking they must be submissive when they are really craving strong sensation. They are ready to throw their willpower away for the sake of getting laid– and ready to hand it over to some random guy who calls himself Sir Domly Dom and explains to them that "the first three weeks are really hard in a slave’s journey" and that they will become a better, happier woman after submitting to him.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Bianca_Sommerland
Today, 11:02 AM
Those are the ones who usually top from the bottom–they might have fun with a scene or two, but they wouldn’t know what to do with a real dom if they met one. I wonder what they would do if put in a situation where they weren’t getting any sex.
Stella Omega
Today, 11:20 AM
Originally Posted by Bianca_Sommerland
Those are the ones who usually top from the bottom–they might have fun with a scene or two, but they wouldn’t know what to do with a real dom if they met one.
Some women don’t want to meet a real dom. The problem is, most women meet men who call themselves doms, who hand them a load of paperback novel bullshit about BDSM.
I have been in the scene for a very long time, and the number of "real doms" I have met– count ‘em on one hand. The number of men who call themselves doms? Hundreds. Thousands, on the internet.
I wonder what they would do if put in a situation where they weren’t getting any sex.
I would certainly hope they would take a hike and find a partner who does give them what they need.
There’s that other heteronormative assumption– that relationships are infinitely more important than sexual expression, that a woman(or, as women are often spoken of, "sub") should be punished (seems like you’re saying) by being refused sexual satisfaction. What’s up with that? Neither the lesbian nor the gay male leather scenes ever came up with that kind of bullshit. Orgasm denial, sure. But "no sex" equals "no play" as far as any scene I have ever been in– top or bottom.
There has been no answer from her since this point…
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